Living your best life: How personal values shape your mental well-being
Have you ever asked yourself, ‘What do I value in life?’ – You may respond to this with things like spending time with my loved ones or doing well in my career. But there's a difference between valuing specific activities and identifying your core values. For example, spending time with loved ones might reflect deeper values like connection or love, while career success might be tied to values like achievement or creativity.
Today, we’re thinking about how these core values play a crucial role in our mental well-being. We’ll explore this through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which focuses on embracing our thoughts and feelings while committing to actions that align with our values. So, let’s get into it!
What are personal values?
First things first, let's demystify what we mean by personal values. Think of them as your internal compass, guiding you toward what truly matters in your life. These aren't just lofty ideals or goals like "I want to be rich" or "I want to travel the world." Values are more about the direction in which you want your life to go. They’re about what’s meaningful to you on a deeper level—like kindness, honesty, family, adventure, or creativity.
Values can be likened to the North Star. You might never actually "reach" the North Star, but it can guide you through life’s journey, helping you navigate the tricky terrain and keep moving forward.
How do values impact mental well-being?
Now, you might be wondering, "How do these abstract ideas called values impact my mental well-being?" Great question! When your actions are aligned with your values, you’re likely to experience a sense of fulfilment and purpose. Conversely, when there’s a mismatch—say, you're working a job that goes against your core value of creativity—you might feel stuck, dissatisfied, or even depressed.
Imagine living a life where your daily actions are a true reflection of what you care about most. That’s the sweet spot! It’s where mental well-being thrives. But let’s be real - life doesn’t always make it easy to stick to our values. That’s where ACT comes into play.
ACT: A quick overview
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is like a toolkit for navigating the ups and downs of life. Instead of fighting against our thoughts and feelings, ACT encourages us to accept them and commit to actions that align with our values. It’s not about getting rid of the “bad” stuff but learning to live a rich and meaningful life despite it.
ACT has six core principles, but we’ll focus on a few that are super relevant to our chat about values:
Values clarification: Identifying what truly matters to you.
Committed action: Taking steps in line with your values.
Acceptance: Embracing thoughts and feelings without letting them dictate your actions.
Values clarification: Discovering Your Compass
The first step in using values to boost your mental well-being is figuring out what they are. This process is called values clarification. It’s like tuning into your inner self and asking, “What do I really care about?” Here’s a fun exercise to get you started:
Reflect on peak moments: Think about times when you felt truly alive and fulfilled. What values were you living by during those moments? Was it connection, adventure, helping others?
Consider role models: Who do you admire and why? Often, the qualities you respect in others reflect your own values.
Identify your top Values: From your reflections, jot down a list of values. Aim for about 5-10 that resonate strongly with you.
Committed action: Walking the talk
Once you’ve clarified your values, it’s time to walk the talk. This is where committed action comes in. It’s all about taking meaningful steps—even small ones—toward living in alignment with your values. Here’s how to do it:
Set value-based goals: Instead of setting generic goals like “lose weight” or “make more money,” frame your goals in terms of your values. For example, if health is a value, a goal might be “incorporate more whole foods into my diet” or “find an exercise I enjoy.”
Create action plans: Break down your value-based goals into actionable steps. If creativity is a value, plan to dedicate a certain amount of time each week to a creative hobby.
Stay flexible: Life can throw curveballs, and that’s okay. What matters is your commitment to your values, not perfection. If you miss a step, don't beat yourself up. Instead, refocus and keep moving forward.
Acceptance: Embracing the journey
One of the trickiest parts of aligning with your values is dealing with the inevitable discomfort and obstacles that arise. This is where acceptance comes in. ACT teaches us to embrace our thoughts and feelings without letting them derail our journey.
Mindfulness practices: Engage in mindfulness to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. Notice them without judgment. This can help you stay present and focused on your values.
Defusion techniques: Instead of getting tangled up in negative thoughts, learn to see them for what they are—just thoughts. You might try saying, “I’m having the thought that…” to create some distance.
Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Living in alignment with your values is a journey, not a destination. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
Real-life example: Living your values
Let’s bring this all together with a real-life example. Meet Sarah, a graphic designer who values creativity, family, and personal growth. She’s been feeling burned out and disconnected from her work. Through values clarification, Sarah realizes that her job, though well-paying, stifles her creativity and leaves little time for family.
Sarah decides to make some changes. She sets a goal to find freelance projects that align with her creative passions and allows her to work from home. She also schedules regular family dinners and joins a local art class for personal growth. Whenever she feels overwhelmed or doubts creep in, she practices mindfulness and reminds herself of her values.
Over time, Sarah’s actions start to align more with her values, leading to a greater sense of fulfilment and mental well-being. It’s not always easy, but the commitment to her values keeps her on a meaningful path.
Final Thoughts
Living a life aligned with your personal values is like planting seeds for your mental well-being. It requires clarity, commitment, and a healthy dose of acceptance. Remember, it’s not about living a perfect life but a meaningful one. By using the principles of ACT, you can navigate life’s challenges with your values as your guide, leading to a richer, more fulfilling experience.
If you would like to learn more about Acceptance Commitment Therapy and/or are keen to further explore your values, then feel free to book in a free consultation with us at MAPP Psychology to speak one of our Psychologists today.
-Dr. Amirah Khan